Tuesday, May 01, 2007

The Path to Righteousness

Those of you who follow the gay Mormon blog ring by definition follow L the Ardent Mormon's blog, and therefore know about the recent brouhaha over the new blog with its "exclusive" sidebar. For those of you who occupy yourselves with other concerns, here is a very brief summary:
  • L, along with a bunch of other faithful gay Mormons, started a blog for, by, and about faithful gay Mormons.
  • They made a sidebar linking to faithful gay Mormon blogs; the blogs were chosen based on L's assessment of who might consider themselves faithful, gay (by this or any other name), and Mormon.
  • Despite L's explanation of how he had made the list and that if anyone wanted to be on it or not be on it all they had to do was say so, some people's feelings were hurt and other people just plain didn't like the idea, accusing L et al. of exclusivity and pointless us vs. themming. Who was L, after all, to determine who was righteous enough to be on his Dream Team of righteous gay Mormons?
  • L insisted and insisted that the sidebar was not exclusive, that it was not some kind of popularity contest or righteousness meter, and eventually he had the site administrator take the sidebar down until further notice.
The point of my recapping all this for you is so that I can tell you that, unlike L, I am not afraid to judge other people's righteousness. I make no qualms about the fact that the people linked on my sidebar are only the brightest and best candidates for celestial glory, from Earth Sign Mama all the way down to Yodame.

Having been raised Mormon, I naturally have separated my heaven into three degrees:
  1. The first degree of fobbiness is determined by one's level of righteousness as demonstrated by familial relation to Master Fob. These people can do nothing to earn or lose their place as Fobs by Blood or Marriage--they are righteous by association, whether they like it or not.
  2. The second degree of fobbiness is determined by one's level of righteousness as demonstrated by membership in the Friends of Ben writing group. Like the first degree, once you're in this one you're in for life. Official Fobs can rest easy knowing their fobby future is secure.
  3. The third degree of fobbiness is determined by one's level of righteousness as demonstrated by two factors:
    1. Having commented on the Fobcave more than once.
    2. Having commented on the Fobcave within the last month or so.
The moral of the story is that you Honorary Fobs need to keep on your toes. Like the title implies, this is an honor, and there's no room in the Fobcave for slackers. So if you're wondering why you used to be an Honorary Fob and you aren't anymore, I paraphrase the immortal Janet Jackson:

(to be read in a dry monotone)
Ooh ooh ooh yeah. What have you done for me lately?

15 comments:

-L- said...

I love your blog. I'll be back on June 2, 2007.

Love,
-L-

-L- said...
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-L- said...

I'm going to have to comment again a little early to also clarify that Northern Lights is not really "for, by, and about faithful gay Mormons." It's also by spouses of gay Mormons (or soon will be), also for anyone interested in talking about issues as long as they can do it in a way respectful to believing Mormons, and also about building a community in general (not just strictly gay all the time). The brouhaha you mention may have given the mistaken impression that we're not interested in intelligent dialog that disputes or challenges points of view that are expressed. Well, we are.

Hope you don't mind me saying so on your post that wasn't really about that blog. :-)

Master Fob said...

I don't mind at all, L. Thanks for the clarification.

Scot said...

Having commented on the Fobcave within the last month or so.

This counts as May’s requisite post. I expect to be kept from your Outer Darkness equivalent.

playasinmar said...

Thank you for eliminating that terrifying "cave" picture from the blog.

I hope that .jpg ends up in Outer darkness.

Lisa said...

You are goofy!

Th. said...

.

Phew.

Sir Jupiter said...

I’m Terrestrial…even in the Blog-o-sphere…

As long as some demon isn’t poking me with pitchforks near a lake of fire and brimstone, I’ll consider myself decently well-off.

Edgy said...

Woo hoo! I'll always be safe. That makes me happy. Now, I should just add a minor stipulation here. I expect to approve of all blogonyms of any future writing Fobs seeing as how I wish to make sure that I will always be the first. Just so you know. ;)

ecogrrl said...

Oh lord, I am such a bad honorary Fob. I didn't even realize I was on the edge until what, two days after I'd been warned?

*cringe*

Um. Erm. Can offer up valuable local knowledge of the city in exchange fo rmercy? :)

Katria said...

I feel like such a sinner. But. Now that I know what is expected of me, I'll try to be better.

Mr. Fob said...

You are forgiven, my child. Go and sin no more.

JB said...

:P

(Does that count?)

JB said...
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