Tuesday, May 15, 2007

On Publicness

A couple weeks ago a friend of Foxy's--a member of the LDS ward she attends and I attended until a couple months ago--told Foxy that she and her husband read our blogs. I was happy to hear this because it means there are more people who know about Foxy's current situation, something she doesn't easily tell people about on her own, which means that there are more people willing to offer her support, whether that support is in the form of watching Little Dude while Foxy plays the piano at church or simply being able to offer empathy when she needs it.

I was also happy to hear this for more selfish reasons: I like it when people read my blog. I like to know (believe?) that people are at least mildly interested in what I'm thinking, and I like to know that people can see the parts of me I display here but not necessarily in my daily interactions with neighbors and friends, the evidence that suggests to me, at least, that I'm a bad person (a logical fallacy I'll expound on later), and that these people still manage to be nice to me when they see me in real life.

So if you know me in real life and you read this blog but I don't know you read this blog, consider this my invitation for you to tell me. My blog is not a secret; my name's right there in the upper right, next to my photo. As a librarian, though, it's important to me to be able to classify my friends--those who read my blog and those who don't. So leave a comment here or just say something next time you see me, even something cryptic like "I know who you really are, Mr. Fob," or "The sparrow flies at midnight." Trust me, I'll be happy to know. And I'll read your blog if you invite me to.

20 comments:

alishka babushka said...

i stumbled upon your blog through another blog that i enjoy reading...so here i am. a shoutout from someone who has no idea who you really are, and you most likely don't know me either. but...i enjoy reading.

erinannie said...

i don't know you. nor have i ever been to seattle. nor do i expect to meet you anytime soon. but i read.

EvadingOdd said...

This is one of those I-should-have-
been-commenting-on-your-posts-for-a-while-
now-because-I-greatly-enjoy-them-but-I-
haven't-and-I'm-sorry comments.

I like your thoughts and bravery and honesty, specifically.

Though I'm afraid I can't vote avocado; I just don't like it! But I'll put in a plug for pear. There's a candidate with great fiber: moral, soluble and insoluble.

I shall do better commenting in the future.

And no, I don't know you.

Mr. Fob said...

Wow, I didn't expect this post to draw the lurkers out. Thanks for reading and thanks for commenting!

mamamormon said...

You may or may not be pleased to hear that I know neither you nor Foxy IRL, but I have read every post on both of your blogs. I think I should get a gold star or some fitting accolade for that. (snicker) I am currently wading through every post on Tolkien Boy's blog because he, like both of you, is a genius. And he has mastered the art of writing to a degree that I just can't stop reading him! Highly enjoyable blogs y'all have.

I read your article in Dialogue and was immediately intrigued. I started a discussion on the topic on a message board I belong to and began researching and learning everything I could about homosexuals who chose to live a "straight lifestyle."

On the Net, I've argued your decision to marry as you chose countless times and have even angered folks over it. No joke! (Isn't that so creepy to read? But your situation was like news to us and we were arguing the pros, cons, validities, etc.)

During the research and discussion of those discussions, I discovered your blog. The study of your choice brought me straight to the Mac Daddy who piqued my interest initially. I'd come full circle.

Since that time, I have come to have an even greater respect for you and Foxy. Once reading your blogs, I could never "argue" your decision or use your family's life as discussion fodder again. While at one time, you were a thought provoking piece of news to me, worthy of discussion, I feel I've peered into your lives too much to ever return to such trivial examinations of it.

I have posted on the blog under a couple of names - not at all to be sneaky - it's just that blogger for whatever reason won't always let me sign in as "mama". (I wonder if this happens to anyone else? But it's a pain.) Anyhooo, I always read this blog - and I sometimes post. Illogically, I resist posting because I don't want to be too intrusive in someone's private life. It appears most of your bloggers are personal friends, and I hate to disrupt the continuity and humor y'all have. Also, I don't want to appear santimonious or know-it-all-y, so I twist my fingers in knots a bit so as not to be another offensive stranger on the Net with an opinion for you. I don't always do well with that.

I'm a SAHM - 3 little girls - Art History major and DUH - of course I do nothing with it because, well, it's an Art History degree. I hope I've shared how I came across your blog in a non-creepy way. I'm not a stalker (I have no time to stalk) but I am a person very interested in seeing successes in your family and life.

mamamormon said...

HOLY COW MY POST WAS LONG!

sorry.....

I'm typing - talking to Mr. Mormon - typing - getting a snack - typing...and ummm....obviously....not doing a length/interest level check.

Edgy said...

Ooh! Another art history major. How exciting for me! Not that I've done anything with it either . . .

Mr. Fob said...

MM--Thanks for the story. I'm happy and touched to read about how you came across us. I also highly approve of your taste in blogs. :) You indeed deserve a gold star for reading all of my and Foxy's entries, and you deserve two gold stars after you make it through all of TB's.

Foxy was also an Art History major, briefly. Were you at BYU? If so, when?

Mr. Fob said...

Oh, and MM, I always enjoy your comments here and elsewhere.

Becca said...

I lurk your blog. It's Melyngoch's and Katya's fault, because you are on their blogrolls.

Th. said...

.

"The sparrow flies at midnight."

----

Wait a second.....

Curse you, you bastard!!!! You're still not allowing anonymous comments!

mamamormon said...

Edgy!! You're an art history major?! Well bless your heart, too!

I always imagine that one day, at some state dinner, I'll be a great dinner companion to a famous curator.

Mr. Master - thanks for the warm comments. I didn't attend BYU (lifetime Mormon who never thought to apply) but went to that veritable mecca of arts that is the University of Central FL. (insert my eye rolling face, there.)

If I could have met some of y'all at BYU, that would have rocked. But sometimes, reading what the lifelong, predominantly UT LDS folks write, I feel I did well to now have moved to UT. It sounds like the Mormon experience is vastly different there than out here in the "mission field."

mamamormon said...

ooops - that now is supposed to be NOT.

That's what I get for posting with a child in my lap. Sorry! Not only do I ramble, there is always at LEAST one typo, a repeat of a word, or the use of etc. (because the child is then bugging me to the point I can't remember the word I wanted to use, so I go with etc.)

I'll go be a mother to her now. Take care!

Rebecca said...

My brother-in-law's brother (which is NOT AT ALL convoluted) was a library science (? is that what it is?) major at BYU. I think. I'm not even sure what you majored in (or if you went to BYU...I may be assuming too much. And also I should probably read some of your archives, but I'm all about living in the present (lazy)), so maybe that isn't relevant. On the other hand, maybe you were, like, totally BFF. Last name Howland. First name...something...

No beans Ten said...

This post may be a bit late, but better than nothing right? I'll admit, I'm a bit of a lurker. I live in the same city as Melengoch and Miss Hass and am a Librarian in Training as well! Maybe someday I will start my own blog, but that may take up all my free time that I spend reading blogs of everyone on Miss Hass' list. I am also voting Avocado '08 for sure.

-L- said...

I read your blog sometimes. [gasp!]

I feel like a peeping tom sometimes because I have found people on the blogs and groups discussion boards I frequent that I know from real life, but I'm not going to tell them who I am. It's a little weird, and sometimes I'm tempted to just out myself in a great big online surprise party. Or something. But, everyone would be unimpressed and would move on, and then I'd feel stupid posting about all my personal faults. ;-)

JB said...

I read your blog. :) And I know what you mean about how cool it is when someone tells you they've read your blog. I feel the same way when my friends and family tell me they read my (real life) blog.

Janci said...

Um, I sort of know you. I wasn't going to comment but then I felt guilty.

We were in a creative writing class two and a half years ago with Louise Plummer. I'm friends with Bryce and Brandon, which is the only real reason I know who the heck you are. (No offense.) You wrote a story about a super hero kid at BYU, which was hilarious. I was working on a story about a girl whose best friend killed herself, which was, I'm sure, entirely forgettable. My lj is http://raisinfish.livejournal.com.

So, anyway, yeah. Now I can stop feeling guilty for lurking.

Mr. Fob said...

Janci--I remember both you and your story very well. Thanks for lurking.

Janci said...

Oh, yay! I feel much less stalkerish now.