Wednesday, July 04, 2012

Fobman Returns

Anyone who still has this blog in their feed and/or stops by here may be interested in my brand-spanking new blog, A Fob in Smallville. There have been a few small changes in my life since I last blogged.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Break Up

Dear Blog,

I think it's time for us to face reality. We've hardly seen each other in months, and to be honest, I haven't missed you. Yes, we've had a lot of good times over the past few years, but I'm at a different point in my life now. I've moved on, and I think it's time for you to move on too.

Before you jump to conclusions, no, there isn't someone else. I won't lie to you--I've been on a few dates with Facebook and have flirted off and on with Goodreads (well, actually, Goodreads has done most of the flirting). I've checked out Twitter and Google Buzz from afar, but I don't see anything serious happening with either. I just don't want to be in any serious online social networking relationship right now.

Really, it's not you, it's me.

So it's time to end our relationship. You go your way, I'll go mine. I imagine our mutual friends will all decide for themselves whether to continue being my friend, your friend, or both. I just hope that you and I can continue to be friends, or at the very least be civil when we run into each other at parties and reunions. I bear you no ill will, and I hope you feel the same.

So goodbye, my dear Blog. Thank you for nearly five years of memories. I assure you, whenever I read a book or do something mundane with my kids or have a superficially profound thought and wonder, "How will I blog about this?," I'll remember you.

With love,

Mr. Fob

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

I Only Posted Twice in November

Take that, NaBloPoMo!

And I didn't write any novels, either.

But I did write a chapter about intersex classification for an anthology on LGBTIQ library service. And I read several great books. And FoxyJ and I celebrated our eighth anniversary. All in all, it was a good month. I just didn't tell you about it. But rest assured, I love you anyway.

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

The New Twenty

Upholding the family tradition of displaying the birthday bounty for the camera.

As of 5:43 this evening (Hawaii Standard Time), I am thirty years old. So why am I still smiling? Because I realized today that I simply needed to adjust my standard. See, I was a little worried about turning thirty because my entire life I've heard from old people who wish they could have stopped aging at 29, so I was under the impression that 29 is the pinnacle of human perfection, and then it's all downhill from there. And perhaps that was once the case, but things have changed. This is the twenty-first century. This is not your father's Oldsmobile. Don't believe me? I present as evidence examples from the two most important measuring sticks of American culture: hip-hop music and superhero comics.
  1. In the song "30 Something," rapper Jay-Z declared that "30's the new 20, nigga." And who can argue? Ten years ago, hip-hop was a young man's* game, and today we have people like Jay-Z, Wyclef Jean, Common, the Wu Tang Clan, who are all pushing forty, still putting out albums and being pretty successful. If these old men are still cool, then clearly I am too.
  2. For a good forty or fifty years, Batman and Superman were both generally considered to be 29 years old--the aforementioned pinnacle of human perfection. But by the time I started reading superhero comics in the nineties, that age had been pushed up to 33. Batman's young ward, Robin, was by then in his early twenties, so it simply didn't make sense for his surrogate father to still be 29. In current comics, these brightly-clad ideals of manhood seem to be in their mid-to-late thirties. A product of ever-growing backstories that need to fit in chronologically, but also an acknowledgment that the readership is aging. A couple decades ago, the prevailing logic was that comic book readers wouldn't want to read about protagonists old enough to be their fathers, but the fact now is that most comic book readers are in their twenties and thirties, so it's a non-issue. Finally these men can age. By the time I catch up to Batman and Superman, they'll be at least forty. And if they can still look good in tights, then by golly, so can I!

In conclusion, I may be thirty, but I am still younger than Batman and Jay-Z. Any questions?

*No, I'm not ignoring women, just acknowledging that hip-hop for the most part does.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Stay flu-free with Sinus Rinse™!

(Because Nose Enema™ and Nasal Douche™ didn't test well with the focus groups.)

Friday, October 30, 2009

The Trick to Having a Happy Halloween... to paint a smile on your face.

But beware! If your wife wears an x-ray shirt, revealing that your baby is proportioned like a monkey... might make you cry. And if you cry, your makeup will run.

I hope you have a non-traumatic Halloween!