Monday, February 19, 2007

Lenten Votes

Tomorrow is Fat Tuesday. For those of you not up to par on your Catholicism (and I don't claim to be, except in this minor instance wherein I adopt a form of pseudo-Catholicism), that means that I will spend tomorrow indulging in an orgy of something, after which I will give up that same something until Easter. Last year I gave up ice cream (except in instances where it was offered to me by true friends). This year I am considering giving up the following:
  • Chocolate
  • Fat
  • Swearing (though I'm not sure that counts because I've already mostly given up what little I ever did)
  • Yelling at small children
  • Sloth
  • Procrastination
  • Bad posture
  • Bad oral hygiene (i.e. failure to floss regularly)
  • World hunger
  • War
  • Misogyny
  • Misandry
  • Gerontophilism
  • Narcissism
  • Lust
  • Narcissistic lust
  • Gluttony
  • Pride
  • Excessive listmaking
I'm having a hard time deciding which sin(s) to give up, so I need your help. Please vote below. I expect no fewer than 52 comments--surely gerontophilism is as controversial as circumcision.


'old enough to know' said...

Since the link to which you attach the word, gerontophilism, implies that you associate that word with a 40 year old man, I would suggest that you give that up - at least until you're old enough to know what 'old age' REALLY is! :)

bawb said...

Man, I'm a terrible person for snorting at the thought of an orgy of yelling at small children.

Tolkien Boy said...

Some questions before I answer:
* Chocolate
The sweet kind or the sexual kind?
* Fat
Yours or other people's?
* Swearing (though I'm not sure that counts because I've already mostly given up what little I ever did)
What the hell?
* Yelling at small children
Yours or other people's?
* Sloth
Actually, I read that most sloth meat is poisonous. Are you addicted?
* Procrastination
Don't you think it's taken you long enough to come to this resolution?
* Bad posture
If you give this one up, does it give me permission to punch you in the stomach every time I see you slouch?
* Bad oral hygiene (i.e. failure to floss regularly)
Are you aware that no one flosses except movie stars and the children of dentists?
* World hunger
I gave this up in the spring of '89. Does it need to be given up again?
* War
In Bush's America?
* Misogyny
You are aware, of course, that as long as you interact with women and maintain your Y chromosome, that this is impossible?
* Misandry
Don't you know how cute the anders are?
* Gerontophilism
How old is old?
* Narcissism
You're giving me up?
* Lust
See last question?
* Narcissistic lust
Okay...that's weird...does this explain your need to wake at unholy hours to lift heavy weights?
* Gluttony
A poll taken by Sir Jupiter and myself concludes that this is not something you deal with. Or are you talking metaphorically?
* Pride
But not prejudice?
* Excessive listmaking
Why not add excessive questioning of the status quo?

Th. said...


I floss.

Kengo Biddles said...

I floss ... sometimes. When I feel guilty, or Helga-the-hygenist (I'm not kidding, that's what she calls herself) visits my dreams. I had an horrific teeth cleaning adventure with her and every once in a while cringingly remember that I'd better do it, or she'll numb my entire face again.

I vote bad posture. Throw those shoulders back, and give a lenten-goodbye to poor posture!

Absent-minded Secretary said...

I think you should give up war, because really, what is it good for.

Just don't give up blogging.

G'pa Bob said...

Yelling at small children.

Katya said...

Give up chocolate. Then I don't have to.

Anonymous said...



Samantha said...

Okay, I hate to argue with TB--but I'm a tiny bit of a floss fanatic, as are most of my friends. I carry it in my car, coat pockets, every room in the house, and it occupies a place of honor on my bedside table. I also have many trash receptacles in those places to take care of used floss. And I don't particularly care about flossing in public etiquette. Therefore, my vote:
Please, please, please give up the absence of flossing. And TB--I beg the same of you.

People who don't floss sort of...gross me out.

Edgy said...

I still vote that you give up vegetables. Last year was the most successful Lent I had ever had.

Melyngoch said...

Give up war. Cause man, if you come after Poland again, I'm taking Czech Republic, and France is not getting out of this alive.

TK said...

Only 39 more comments to go. And I got a good laugh out of these 12!

Petra said...

I floss. TB, you've been roundly defeated in your argument.

Also, I vote you give up yelling at old people and lusting after small children. Oh, wait...did I read that wrong?

Queen Zippergut said...

Oooo! France not getting out of this alive--I vote for that! Wait. What was the question?

Tusk said...

I have a meme waiting for you to try! :)

-L- said...

Um, I know I'm late here, but I would just like to add that flossing reduces your risk of heart disease. Really.