Thursday, June 07, 2007

The REAL 500th Post

I'm trying to be more assertive, so maybe I should tell you to read your Bible and come to my next blog party. Or maybe I'll write a book review, or here's a brilliant idea--I'll do that chain blogging thing Katria passed on to me. Or, for a change of pace, I could blog about Christmas. You're probably tired of hearing about the Church and my coming out experiences; your computer might explode, though, if I divorce myself from the ER adventures my family has regularly. I haven't posted much fiction here, but I haven't been writing much since Fob has been on hiatus the last couple months. I think I'll keep Fobsvithes on Sundays, as that's a good day for soul food.

I need to make more real-life friends; that's now one of my goals. With that in mind, I'm thinking of joining a group of homosexual fathers in Seattle that I found on the internet. I'm nervous because I'm not comfortable being the new guy in a small, intimate group, but I'm sure I'll be fine as long as I don't forward them all my junk mail or use too much offensive language.

Speaking of language, I've just returned the books the library lent me, which I was using for a paper on library stuff and the life lesson of gender-inclusive language. I made lists of all the terms related to homosexuality I found in the Library of Congress Subject Headings and Classification schedules, and noted where these terms exclude lesbians--like the use of "gay marriage" instead of "same-sex marriage." As any current media source will tell you, most lesbians are not comfortable with the term "gay" as an umbrella-term for gay men and lesbians.

But really, I should get back to metablogging. What's the point of this blog, anyway? It doesn't make me any money, and it doesn't do anything useful like provide compelling movie reviews. The subject of this blog is a moving target, like the music in my MP3 player or my many neuroses. I could show you what a good parent I am by posting more pictures of my children, but that's why they have their own blog. My few attempts to discuss politics have proven how uninformed I am; a poll of my readers would confirm this. The library patrons I try to help through our online Q and A service would likewise attest to my ignorance. Perhaps I should stick to the things I know, like religion, school systems in Seattle, and superheroes. (Okay, I admit, I don't know anything about school systems in Seattle, but pushing this monologue through my alphabetical list of subject headings is proving quite taxing.)

This isn't going anywhere, so I'll give thanks to therapy, to throwaway posts, and to all the girls I've loved and travel to my work office, where I will perhaps try some writing while I wait for chat patrons.

And that, my fobby friends, is five hundred words. Right… now.

11 comments:

Th. said...

.

Impressive.

Like a snotnet.

Kudos.

Edgy said...

Cool.

Samantha said...

498. I counted. And 2800 characters.

Samantha said...

Oh, sorry, typo. 2187 characters. And 641 syllables. With an average of 1.3 syllables per word (what is 30% of a syllable?) and 4.4 characters per word (and what is 2/5 of a character?).

I love words...and numbers...and numbers of words...and words about numbers...

Congrats of the 500th post.

Mr. Fob said...

That's crazy. Word on my computer at work counted 500 words but Word at home counts 504. And apparently you count 498, and who's going to argue with a witch?

Oh well, this is technically the 501st post, or the 507th, depending on how you count, so it doesn't matter anyway. If I say it's 500, then it's 500. (So I guess I'm going to argue with a witch.)

mamamormon said...

I've been so excited waiting for the 500th(ish) post. Is that lame or cool?

Congrats!!! As for making friends IRL, host a kegger and we'll all come over! Then we'll count.

playasinmar said...

Congrats! You are a true original.

Sir Jupiter said...

To congratulate you on your 500th, I’d like to present you with a golden…

…uh…

…never mind! ;-)

The Ugly Swan said...

Who knew that I would have known you for 500 posts??

Oh, right. Omniscient people, such as yourself.

Rebecca said...

Okay, since I don't know you (um, AT ALL) this might be WAY overstepping, but when has that ever stopped me (answer: on occasion, but rarely)? If you want some AWESOME real-life friends, my brother and his wife live in Bellevue. He's starting his MA in English this fall, she's a graphic artist, and they just had a baby. They are super fun and artsy and cool and...cool. And more cool. Oh, and my brother plays, like, instruments and stuff. He was in bands with his friends in Utah. And he writes. A LOT. And might be in a writing group (he was in Utah, but I don't know about now). So, yeah...If you want some wickedly awesome friends (did I mention cool? - That, by the way, is a SORELY overused bit of dialogue -) I can totally hook you up. I'm sure they'd love more friends, so it wouldn't be (TOO) awkward or anything. Seriously.

MoHoHawaii said...

Haha. Form has its dangers... you might appreciate this.