Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Decisions

Today I visited the library I worked in for three years. It was wonderful to see many of my friends there and to see the library itself--I love that library. I admired the newly-remodeled wing and caught up on all the gossip. I was happy (and somewhat disappointed) to find both that the library is doing fine without me--not that there was ever any serious doubt that it would, but still one can imagine--and that the library still suffers from all the same problems and silly politics it did for the three years I was there. I still love the library as much as I ever did, but it's so much easier now to see the things about it that made me miserable and would have continued to do so as long as I stayed. I left today feeling nostalgic for all the good memories the library brought me and pleasantly free of regrets over my decision to leave for Seattle.

I wish I could go back in time seven months, to when I was torn over the decision to stay in a place I was very comfortable or leave for something potentially better but terrifyingly unknown, and assure myself that this really would be for the best. I wish all decisions, big and small, could be made with the advantage of hindsight. Making them without it is scary as hell.

3 comments:

Tina said...

Ditto to that! I think we all would love the blessing of hindsight ahead of time.

Bryce's Ramblings said...

Sorry I missed you when you were here--that's what I get for only checking your blog sporadically. Glad you're happy to be gone. I'd love to be in your shoes right now. Well, maybe not. I don't know how big your feet are. But I don't think I'll miss Utah much when I'm gone.

Bewitched Librarian said...

I have since visited that library location and felt similiar nostalgia.

Hindsight or not, we both made lucky escapes from people and policies that were overbearing and outdated.

I'll only go back if you're the director.