Monday, January 01, 2007

My 2006 Report Card

My 2006 goals:

i. Read the Old Testament.

Meh. We made it through Leviticus, I think. Almost.

D-

ii. Get a six-pack (my own, not someone else's).

See results below.

iii. Read at least one book per month.

Woo hoo! Take a look at the list in my sidebar. 27 divided by 12 equals 2.25, meaning I met this goal and raised it another 125%. Go me!

A+

iv. Read more poetry.

Well, technically, I did read more poetry, meaning I started two or three books of poetry over the course of the year. Maybe I'll be more specific next time I try to get me some culture.

C

v. Do something fun and surprising for Foxy on a regular basis. (This one's a secret; don't tell her.)

As I've mentioned before, this goal was way too foggy. Over the last few months, though, I have managed to surprise FoxyJ with flowers and chocolates and stuff like that more than once.

B


And now for the six-pack goal. I really didn't put as much effort into this as I wanted to until the last three months, but I made a lot of improvement in that time. It pays to use the ab machines at the gym--when I tried to do crunches at home, it just didn't happen consistently. Also, my bathroom scale says I've lost 15 pounds since moving to Seattle, which helps.

So I present to you the results of my efforts, with a warning that if you are grossed out by sexy man abs, or conversely if you are turned on by sexy man abs but don't want to be turned on by my sexy man abs, you should stop scrolling now.



I'm warning you...



Resist temptation!



Stop!



Okay,

for those of you who have persevered,

my abs as of this morning:



Can't see the six-pack? Maybe this will help:



And in case you need a before picture to compare the after to, here is me three years ago:

(I'm the fat one holding the baby.)

RETROACTIVE WARNING: If you are grossed out by flabby man bellies, or conversely if you are turned on by flabby man bellies but don't want to be turned on by my flabby man belly, you should have stopped scrolling before you saw the above picture.

So I give myself a B+ on the six-pack goal because I didn't quite get that six-pack, but I made some progress, and my wife says my tummy is sexy.

GPA for the year:

2.66

I'll do better next year. (2007 goals to come.)

8 comments:

Th. said...

.

Why don't bloggers ever listen to warnings?

Also, I dreamed you came over to my parents' house and asked if I would direct your movie. Remember?

Anyway, yes.

Master Fob said...

Oh, good. I'm not sure anyone else would catch my vision as well as I know you will.

Th. said...

.

Is that why you tested me by sending me a vision?

G'pa Bob said...

15 pounds toward a healthier you in a year is great. Since your wife thinks your tummy is sexy you definately deserve the B+. Well done!!

Samantha said...

Did you see the sidebar adds for this post? Lipsuction Utah? Six-pack abs in six weeks?? Colonix program???

So scary...much scarier than your personal porn pics.

Samantha said...

Oops...typo...insert an "o" in liposuction...how embarrassing...

Th. said...

.

I dunno.

Lipsuction sounds pretty sexy to me....

SenecaSis said...

How come it's called a six-pack when I see eight blocks?