Friday, November 10, 2006

Surnames Part 3 (of 4): Karma

If the Angry Feminist (who happens to have long hair but is not Melyngoch) who declared conclusively that FoxyJ's taking of my last name is a sign of giving up her (Foxy's, not AF's or Mel's) identity to patriarchal society (i.e. me) were to get to know the semi-fictional blog world I've created, she'd have a heyday with my consumption of others' identities. Not only do my wife and children bear my blogonym (the Fob family), but so do my parents, siblings, and even my in-laws (Fobs by blood or marriage); my writing group (official Fobs); my friends, ranging from close personal friends to internet friends to people who might have commented on my blog a couple times to people who maybe just came to a party I threw because a mutual friend invited them (honorary Fobs); random people who happen to share a couple characteristics with me (gay Mormon Fobs); our apartment (the Fobcave); our car (the Fobmobile); and even a few vehicles and tools which have no counterparts in reality (such as the Fobwing and the Fobarang).*

A few years ago I wrote a paper combining feminist and post-colonialist theories to accuse Batman of colonizing his young female protege by dubbing her Batgirl. Basically, he stripped her of her own identity and gave her his. He branded her as an extension of him. Notice that he doesn't do this, for example, with Robin, who maintains his unique identity (albeit forever billed after Batman and...).

I am reminded of the wise words of Lauryn Hill:

Now don't you understand, man, universal law
What you throw out comes back to you, star
Never underestimate those who you scar
Cause karma, karma, karma comes back to you hard
I'm sorry, Batman, for calling you an imperialist woman-hater. Will you forgive me?

*I say this all somewhat jokingly, but I am rather disturbed by my apparent desire to remake everyone and everything in my image.


Melyngoch said...

I've always thought of this as evidence of your narcissism, not your patriarchal oppressiveness.



Christian said...

Oh, but it goes further than what you mention. Not only are we official Fobs, but if you cross-reference your blog with the blog of the official Fobs, you will noticed that you have completely renamed us.


Edgy Killer Fob

Christian said...

This is so unfair. I was going to have the first comment, but Melynfob snuck in while I was writing my comment. Sheesh. Doesn't she know she's supposed to be repressed?

Samantha said...

Thank you for allowing me to keep my identity. Or perhaps that's a privilege reserved for those who do not fully immerse themselves in the world of FOB (i.e. Honoraries)...

However, I do have to point out that Melynfob is probably correct. Given the ratio of men and women involved in your consumption of mankind, this does seem to be an ego thing, rather than a patriarchal issue.

Anyway, that's how Samfob sees it...Samantha may have a different opinion altogether if you'd ever allow her to have one (stupid oppressor of women).

B.G. Christensen said...

Thank you, loyal fobs, for assuring me that I am not a patriarchal oppressor but rather a narcissist and egoist. That is MUCH better.

B.G. Christensen said...

Oh, and it's Fobantha, not Samfob. Sheesh, get your fobonym right.

Kengo Biddles said...

You FOB me! You _really_ Fob me! I would like to thank Master FOB, FoxyFOB and the great FOBosphere Family!

-Kenfob Biddles-

Th. said...


See, I could do this too. I'm narcissistic enough. I have a renaming methodology. The only difference between us really is that I'm straight. Which must mean straight men are less patriarchal. Which is a relief.

TK said...

'I am rather disturbed by my apparent desire to remake everyone and everything in my image.'

I think it might be a rather healthy practice. Perhaps if some of the real-life 'power and control' men, who REALLY abuse women, were able to play with the idea a bit, like you do, maybe they wouldn't have such a need to exert 'unrightous dominion' in real-life. :)

Anonymous said...

Um, what's going on with Batman and that other guy in the picture?

Samantha said...

Okay, Oh Great Egomaniac Fob, I'll accept the Fobonym given by you, but you need to know that most everyone shortens my name to the first three letters--which could lend some confusion, gender and otherwise.

Fob (see what I mean)

Anonymous said...

Hi. I'm here to manifest my desire to be dominated by any and all members of the patriarchy. Today's evidence: I like it when people brand me with their possessive labels, like "friend."

Maybe I should seek counseling.