FAQ

(This is not one of the brilliant posts I concocted last night.)

Are you sure you're gay?

Well, I'm not officially licensed, but nine out of ten attendees say I throw a great Oscar party. This translates to a 5.2 on the ever-trusty Kinsey scale.

Why not live your life for you and not what others expect of you?

Indeed, why not? Oh, wait, you mean why not live my life according to what you expect of me? Hm. Interesting idea.

Hm.

After a great deal of serious thought, I've decided against it.

How do you expect your marriage to survive when statistics show that mixed-orientation marriages all fail?

Let's take a moment and think about how these "statistics" are calculated. See, in order to do a survey, you need willing participants. Who's more likely to participate in a survey on the success of mixed-orientation marriages--the gay guy who has left his wife and come out of the closet, or the gay guy who has quietly been living his life for the last thirty years, happily married? Have you noticed how many currently married gay men are willing to attach their names and faces to their situation? Do you honestly think anyone has a realistic idea of how many gay men are quietly, happily married to straight women? (This is not even counting the gay women who are happily married to straight men, who I suspect have a higher success rate.)

Do you have sex?

Foxy and I have joked about putting a counter on our blogs, but being as how that would be a mockery of something personal and sacred to us, we decided against it. This much I will say: We have two children, each conceived the old-fashioned way. And believe me, you just don't make children this perfect on the first try; in each case, we practiced quite a bit before the actual making was done.

Do you live in Orem so that you can be around narrow-minded people like you?

Actually, we live in Seattle so that we can be around narrow-minded people like us. As it turns out, narrow-minded people are everywhere--even Pennsylvania.