I just got an email from a random guy who came across "Getting Out" and "Staying In" and wanted to tell me that, as a gay Mormon in a mixed-orientation marriage, he identified with my story. (He explained that I was the second Master Fob he had emailed in search of the author of the essays. Who'd have known Master Fob was such a common name?)
At any rate, he mentioned that he'd found my essays on a blog which advertised them as proof that gay men should not marry heterosexually. So I hopped on Blogsearch and I'm pretty sure I found the right place. As it turns out, the author of this blog lives on Oahu, which, in case you don't know, is where I grew up. Not that that has anything to do with anything; I just found it curious. To be honest, I'm flattered to be mentioned by a stranger, even if he's using my words to come to a different conclusion than I intended. Perhaps I should be bothered by the fact that he's putting me up basically as a cautionary tale of what not to do, but I'm not. People are free to read my story and come to whatever conclusion they want to.
If nothing else, at least Blog Guy posting a link to my article led to Random Guy realizing that he is not alone in the world. Random Guy compared reading my essays to the experience of early Mormons who found the LDS Church and were gratified to learn something they already believed, "that the truth had to be different than all things at that time proffered." If I achieve nothing else in this life, I'll be happy to know that one person thinks I am different than all things at this time proffered.
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9 comments:
"Perhaps I should be bothered by the fact that he's putting me up basically as a cautionary tale of what not to do, but I'm not. "
Yes, I do see it as a cautionary tale, but not a tale of what not to do. The caution is of the "know what you're getting into before you make the leap" variety.
Dave
Isn't it strange how you end up coming across yourself in the strangest places? Like other people's blogs? It happened to me once and I became an avid reader of the other girl's blog... even though she actually was commenting VERY negatively on something I had written. The funny thing is, I don't think she ever knew that I even saw it. But I did. Small world, you know?
What I want to know is what the heck is an FOB?
Dave--I think I can agree with your conclusion.
Cicada--That is why people who mention me end up with search strings such as "master fob" showing up on their Sitemeter as entry links.
Anonymous--As per your request, I have added a "What is Fob?" link in my profile under "About Me."
Your mom's a Fob.
And I can say that because she really is.
Cool for you Master Fob!!!!
I saw it the way Dave meant it- Know who you are and what you're getting into before hand.
As you know, in my case, We didn't have that *luxury*... it woulda been nice to have Getting Out and Staying In as a reference so long ago.
I'm proud of you for writing it and proud of you for getting it published and hope that it helps others in the same place.
I found Getting Out and Staying In one of the most interesting things I have ever read. I keep thinking about it now, weeks later. I keep wanting to share it with other people, but I'm afraid they won't get it, and because it's so meaningful and almost sacred to me, I don't want to share it with just anyone. Does that make any sense?
I'm glad it touched some random stranger in the same way it touched me (somewhat less of a random stranger because I know some of the people you know even though I don't know you).
I should probably confess to giving dave the link to your essay. And I agree with his conclusion that you need to know what you're getting into before making the leap. That's about the only thing I agree with Dave on.
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