I Like People

I often get frustrated with people, either because of their stupidity or my own lack of social skills, and declare that I want nothing to do with the human race. This past week, though, I've felt rather fond of our little species. Following is a list of people for whose existence I have been grateful this past week (if you're not on the list, I think you should ask yourself, to paraphrase Janet Jackson, "What have you done for Ben lately?"):

• FoxyJ, who has filled the role of Supermom superbly, both before, during, and after the move, despite the fatigue of being two months pregnant. When she and I do difficult things together, I'm reminded of what a good team we make.
  
• S-Boogie and Little Dude, who remain lovable as ever, despite how frustrating they can be sometimes.
  
• My sister L, who did the footwork of househunting for us so we could just get here and unload the truck into our nice new home.
• My mother-in-law, Earth Sign Mama, who flew out to Davis, helped us pack, helped FoxyJ drive across Nevada, and helped us unpack here before flying back home on Monday.
  
• The elders quorum in Davis, who helped us load a 16' truck in about 45 minutes.
• The relief society in Davis, who helped us get our apartment cleaned a good hour and a half ahead of schedule.
  
• My mom, two sisters, brother, brother-in-law, and my sister's boyfriend who I'd never met before, who all were ready to unload the truck as soon as we got here.
• Green Mormon Architect and family, who stopped by to help while we were unpacking on Saturday.
• Edgy and Dec (or is his blogonym now Flameman?), who would have helped, had I arrived two hours earlier, as I intended to.
• My brother-in-law L, who showed up Monday morning to mow our overgrown lawn.
  
• Tolkien Boy, Brozy, Samantha, and all the other friends and family we've seen and/or will see soon, reminding us of why we moved back to Utah.
  
• My boss, who said a couple weeks ago, "Hey, I heard you were looking for a full-time job. Do you want to work full-time for us?"

Life is good. I'm kind of exhausted now because we've been going nonstop for a couple weeks, but I'm happy. I spent a good portion of the drive here grinning, and I don't think it was just because I was in the moving truck, with not a screaming child in earshot.

Wow.

The utterly unexpected arrival of a very generous gift goes a long way toward redeeming an otherwise horrible day.

Thank you, Svoid.

I'm going to go play with my Kindle 2 now.

Meet the Newest Fobs!

The observant among you will notice that I've updated my sidebar. There are new honorary fobs on the list and a few honorary fobs who have dropped off the list. Remember the rules, folks: comment at least once a month if you want to be on the list. There's no room here for fobs who don't pull their weight--this blog doesn't comment on itself! (And by the way, I've tried not to link to anyone who doesn't have their blog listed on their Blogger profile, even if I know your secret link; if I've accidentally linked to someone who doesn't want to be linked to, just let me know.)

The especially observant among you will notice that one honorary fob has moved up on the sidebar to Fobs by Blood or Marriage. When my brother Svoid started dating Yodame* a while back, I wasn't sure where to put her in my sidebar. I didn't want her to feel like she wasn't welcome in the Fob family, but I also didn't want her to feel like I was prematurely forcing her into the family by the sealing power of the Fobcave sidebar. I opted to list her as an honorary fob because there was technically neither blood nor marriage involved, but I am happy to report that now there are both blood and marriage making Yodame a True Fob. FoxyJ and I were lucky enough to attend Svoid and Yodame's ultra-private (we were the only guests there) wedding ceremony on Cannon Beach last weekend, and Yodame is currently carrying Fob blood in the form of the niece or nephew of mine in her womb. Not only is Cannon Beach one of the most beautiful locations you could possibly choose to have a wedding at, but it is also the place where Goonies was filmed. How can you go wrong with Goonies? At any rate, welcome to the family, Yodame. I hope you enjoy your new place on my sidebar.


(Better pictures are available at Svoid's blog, conveniently linked from my sidebar.)

*They both use their real names on their own blogs, but I'm all about preserving secret identities here at the Fobcave... which is why my full name is prominently featured at the top of the sidebar.

Angel of Faith

Today is my sister Anela's birthday. Anela is the fourth oldest of my sisters. She has a degree in math and teaches dance. She and her husband live on the Big Island of Hawai'i and their two sons are bilingual in English and Hawaiian.

'Anela is the Hawaiian word--I assume a borrowing from English--for "angel." I have always found this an appropriate name for my sister, as she strives to be true to the Greek origins of the word as a messenger of God, whether bearing testimony of the things she believes in or acting in God's name by serving the people around her. In the past couple years she and her husband's dance class has performed in local dance concerts and competitions and the routines they've choreographed have centered around messages that are important to them, like the sanctity of marriage and the need to be conscientious in the media we allow into our lives. I respect them for standing up for what they believe in, particularly in a state like Hawai'i that isn't known for its conservativism, and I also really like how they use the art form they're so talented in--dance--to express their faith.

Anela is not only faithful to her religion, but she is also faithful to her family--or perhaps better put, she recognizes that being faithful to her religion goes hand in hand with being faithful to her family. Considering the fact that my religious paradigm and values don't match up very well with hers, and knowing how zealous I can be in voicing my own beliefs, I've often worried that our differences would drive us apart. A couple months ago, though, in response to something I'd said here about assuming my family and friends didn't want to be publicly connected to me, Anela wrote me an email to clarify that despite our religious and political differences, "I am not ashamed to be publicly connected to you." I am proud to be publicly connected to you, Anela, and to your example of faith.

Seneca Strength

Since I decided to blog about each of my siblings last month I've been thinking of what I would say about each of them, and as I knew SenecaSis's birthday was coming up I was particularly thinking of what I would say about her. And then this morning I looked at the date and realized I've missed her birthday by three days. Sorry, Sis, my mind has been elsewhere the past couple weeks. I hope you had a great day.

SenecaSis is so named because she, like my second-oldest sister, Lika, is secretly my half-sister. Well, actually, the secret is that we're related at all, because most people don't see the resemblance between my white skin, blond hair, and blue eyes and SenecaSis and Lika's brown skin, dark brown hair, and brown eyes. My mom's first husband--my sisters' dad--is a full-blooded Seneca Indian. (And, by the way, has a healthy sense of humor that his daughters have inherited, which is why I don't mind being so politically incorrect in those links. Oh, and for real info on the Seneca Nation, click here.)

When I think of SenecaSis I think of strength. She has been through a lot in her life--some of which I don't even know about--and through it all she has shown how strong she is. I have seen her stand up and defend not only herself, but also the people she loves on many occasions. Like me, SenecaSis seems to experience a sense of indignant rage at the sight of injustice, but unlike me she doesn't let fear of confrontation get in the way of doing something about it. I appreciate my big sister's example of strength in the face of adversity, as that kind of courage is often something I lack.

M is for eMpathy

I've been meaning for a while to introduce you to my family. I was thinking of posting about each of my siblings from oldest to youngest, but I've already talked a bit about Lika (#2), and tomorrow is M's (#3) birthday, so I figure I might as well throw chronological order out the window and tell you about M. Then at some later point I'll tell you about SenecaSis (#1) and all the rest. (In case you're wondering, I am #7.)

I don't feel bad about not making a more creative blogonym for M than just her first initial because in real life we refer to her family--whether her and her husband, M, or her and her daughter, M--as M&M (get it? like the candy? okay, just making sure). Though I must say, it's much easier to keep the three of them--M, M, and M--straight when they have other letters following those first initials, to distinguish them from one another. Which is why, I suppose, S-Boogie calls Little M "Baninga."

Having wasted two paragraphs on nonsense, I'll now say that I don't want these family introduction posts to be too long, because I want people to actually read them. So I'm just going to pick out one thing that I think defines each of my siblings. In the case of M, in case you have not already guessed from the title of this post, it's empathy. M is the sister the rest of us go to when we need to talk about something. She is and always has been a good listener--rather than judge or give empty advice, she tries to understand. When few knew about my homosexuality and no one talked about it, M frequently asked me questions about what being gay meant for me, and considering that I am not one to offer much information voluntarily, I always appreciated her earnest attempts to comprehend my struggles. After her husband passed away a few years ago and she decided her career in human resources was not the best for a single mother, M went back to school to become a school counselor. The students at the schools she works at are lucky, I think, to have such a great listener there for them.

Okay

Not five minutes after the Qwest guy got my phone service working this evening, the phone rang. It was my sister. "How are you doing?" she asked.

"Okay."

"Okay," she said. "What does that mean?"

There have been times when I would have been annoyed at such probing. Tonight was not one of those times. In fact, lately I have been all too glad to tell people how I'm really feeling if I sense they really want to know. I'm glad my sister knows me well enough to not accept what I say at face value and cares enough to push me to say what I mean. Sisters are good for that kind of thing.

To Zion

Next week Foxy and I are stuffing the children in the car and heading down to California, then on to Utah. While I am anxious to see my friends in Utah, I am especially happy that I will get to see my family, as I have been reminded in the last couple days that they are truly a wonderful bunch of people. Really, I couldn't ask for better siblings.