Master Fob and the Cursed Bedside Clock

Usually when S-Boogie wakes up too early, I put her back in bed. This morning she came into our room and I was ready to pick her up and return her to hers, but then I noticed my clock said it was 8:00. I groaned--it didn't feel like I'd been asleep for eight hours--and let S-Boogie crawl into bed with me while I woke up. Twelve minutes later I managed to roll out of bed, only to put my watch on and see that according to it, it was only 7:12. The clock on my computer agrees. By now, of course, it's too late to put her back in her own bed--she's wide awake and there's no going back. Arghhh.

Fobsvithe: Counting Our Blessings

WARNING: The following post contains birth-related blood and gore.

1. When the placenta ruptured, we were watching a movie at editorgirl's house, with S-Boogie sound asleep in eg's extra bedroom. This meant we didn't have to find a babysitter.

2. Foxy J's lightning-fast reflexes spared eg's couch, reserving the blood only for the plastic doormat, a towel eg kindly sacrificed, and the passenger seat of the Fobmobile.

3. Editorgirl lives about a minute away from Utah Valley Regional Medical Center. I don't know how long we would have had before Foxy lost too much blood, but the important thing is that she didn't.

4. We have the best obstetric surgeons in Utah County, working at one of the best labor & delivery hospitals in the nation (or at least one of the most used). Within an hour of arriving at the hospital, Baby Fob was alive and kicking, and Foxy was on the road to recovery (a road that will probably last a few weeks, but at least she's on it).

5. My sister Lika hadn't yet left for Hawai'i (she's on her way now). She came right to the hospital and, besides giving general support, moved my car from the lane in front of the emergency room, where I'd left it in a panic.

6. Tolkien Boy and editorgirl, being the wonderful people they are, took good care of S-Boogie last night, even moving the mattress to the floor when she rolled off the bed in the middle of the night.

7. Thus far (eleven hours into his life), Baby Fob is a much better sleeper than S-Boogie ever was. Remembering our first night in the hospital with her, I was dreading last night, but he actually slept through most of the night. We've basically had to wake him up to feed him. Of course, he did have quite the traumatic day yesterday.

8. Everyone's okay. We are a happy Fob family--all four of us.

...and A Harry Potter Theory

I think Snape killed Cedric. That is the murder conspiracy everyone's talking about, right? Or am I behind?

A Harry Potter Thought...

Why does Haggrid have to wonder which of Madame Maxine's parents is a giant? Physically speaking, isn't only one combination possible?

One Month

In the month that I haven't been teaching, I have visited my in-laws, gone on hours and hours of walks with S-Boogie, read Wizard of Oz and Wicked, listened to four Harry Potter books, and watched four Harry Potter movies (so far Prisoner of Azkaban is my favorite book and movie). Unfortunately, none of these things pays much. Provo Library wants to interview me on Wednesday, though. Cross your fingers for me.

Where is Master Fob?

Apparently I have been very busy over the past few weeks--judging busyness by the amount of time I have for blogging--but this seems odd to me, considering that I am no longer teaching, so I should have more time, not less. To be honest, I'm not sure how I've been so busy, but I'll offer some possibilities:

• I have been busy looking for a second part-time job. I interviewed for a seasonal position as activities assistant at Thanksgiving Point, which seemed like a perfect fit for me and I for it, but after the interview I remembered how creatively draining activity planning jobs are, and had second thoughts about how perfect it was for me. Especially at $7.50 an hour. Luckily they decided they didn't want me, so I didn't have to make the decision. Now I'm hoping for a job at Provo Library.
• I have been busy writing. Having finished revising two books (one I submitted and the other I decided to leave alone for another long while), I've started a new one. Writing is fun. It makes me happy.
• I have been busy moving a library. The Orem Public Library is remodeling its south wing, which means that we have been moving two-thirds of the entire collection into the north wing and the other third to a new branch at the University Mall. Technically I haven't been working all that many extra hours, but it has happened that several times when I worked extra hours they have been either during S-Boogie's afternoon nap or in the evening when she goes to bed, which are the two times when I could otherwise blog guilt-free. The other thing is that since I have been moving large shelves and thousands upon thousands of books instead of sitting at a desk while at work, my internet surfing time has been cut drastically. I generally avoid blogging at work because there really are better things I could be doing on paid time, now any other internetting I do happens at home when I might have been blogging instead.
• I have been busy listening to Harry Potter. I'm currently in the middle of Goblet of Fire. Listening to HP means that I take S-Boogie on a lot of long walks, when I otherwise might be in my bedroom blogging while she plays with knives in the kitchen.
• I have been busy being abducted by aliens. This might explain the long periods of missing time and bruises in odd parts of my body.

That's about all I can figure out. Your guess is as good as mine.

The Results

I received so many entries, I couldn't possibly post them all, so I've decided to post only the first place entry in each of six categories:

First Place Entry From a Tweenage Drama Queen goes to Lola:
First Place Entry From a Toddler Not Related To Me goes to the Big O:

First Place Entry From a Professional Graphic Design Lady goes to Lady Steed:

First Place Entry From an Official Fob Other Than Me goes to Theric:

First Place Entry From a Daddy/Daughter Team goes to Master Fob and S-Boogie:

and...

First Place Entry From a Franco-Gallic Aquatic Mammal goes to The Walrus:

Image

If you've been paying attention, meaning if you have nothing better to do than observe the latest trends in my pschosis, you may have noticed my recent obsession with messing around with my digital imaging program. This is not the first time I've gone through a wannabe graphic designer phase. My freshman year of college, I downloaded trial versions of Photoshop and Paintshop Pro and went crazy. I wasted countless hours morphing Calvin Klein cologne ads with pictures of my nephew, whose initials are CK; making photo collages of my friends and family; and making underwear models into superheroes. My roommate was pretty weirded out when he walked in on me zoomed in on the crotch of a man in briefs, changing the white pixels to red and the flesh-tone pixels to blue. And rightfully so. I quickly finished with Superman and started on Wonder Woman, lest my roommate get the right impression. In retrospect, I don't think painting tights on a female underwear model was any less weird.

The point of this somewhat embarrassing story is to let you all know that I'm only accepting entries in the Color Master Fob contest through tomorrow at 10 pm, at which point I'll post the winners.

Boogie Day

Today I woke up slowly to a toddler lying in bed next to me, telling me she wants her bressik. No, she doesn't sleep with us, but when she gets up before we're ready to, which is often, she climbs into our bed. She always comes to my side because she's learned that Momma doesn't wake up to help her in.

Foxy actually did make it out of bed before I did this morning, but she had to get ready for the first day of the last class she'll ever take until she decides to get a PhD, so while she showered S-Boogie and I made pancakes. After bressik and a quick shower on my part, I finished getting the child ready and we went across the street to the library. There we picked up an episode of Veggie Tales, The Wizard of Oz on VHS so I can compare it to the book we just finished, and Superman: The Movie on DVD in preparation for Superman Returns, which comes out on June 30th and picks up where Superman II left off (ignoring III and IV). Then we picked out several picture books and went to laptime to learn about barnyard dancing and rhythm sticks.

Back home, we watched Veggie Tales because that is the first thing that one must do after checking out Veggie Tales, and then we read all the books we'd checked out. I decided this morning to actually sit next to S-Boogie and watch the show and read the books, rather than do my own thing while she watched and read, as I often do. FoxyJ got home from class bearing groceries and we had ham and cheese sandwiches with fruit for lunch. A bit more reading, and S-Boogie was down for a nap.

During naptime I wrote an email to one prospective employer and filled out an application with another (if you know of good part-time summer employment for English masters, let me know). This was interrupted only by a poopy diaper at 3. Tolkien Boy came over at 4 and S-Boogie woke up not long after that. While FoxyJ went to a meeting, TB, Boogie, and I walked to the park. While S-Boogie ran up the stairs and down the slides hand-in-hand with a random three-year-old girl, TB and I caught up after a week of not hanging out and several weeks before that of being in the same place at the same time frequently but never getting a chance to talk. When it was time for S-Boogie's new BFF to go home, we took that as our cue to walk back to the Fobcave, where TB danced with S-Boogie to Bruce Springsteen and I helped FoxyJ make a yummy BBQ chicken pizza for dinner. After dinner and Jeopardy!, S-Boogie went to bed and I lay down to read. I thought I might wink out for a few minutes, then continue reading, but instead I slept from 8:30 to 11:30, literally unable to wake myself.

On days like this I'm torn between frustration at not accomplishing anything measurable and a blissful awareness that, despite my protests, this is five cents from heaven.

Oh, and lest I fail to observe the Month o' Edgy, I should mention that this afternoon I emailed my fobbies, including Edgy, to remind them that we are fobbing tomorrow. Fob Thursdays make me happy and Edgy makes me happy, even though sometimes he calls me a twit.

Happy Birthday to FoxyJ

As we lay on the futon couch in her parents' living room watching Walk the Line, I tried to think of what I could write about FoxyJ for her birthday. I've attempted to list reasons why I love her before--I'm lazy to find the link so you can search for the post if you care--but that sort of thing doesn't really do justice to her nor does it really explain why I love her. I don't love her because she meets some list of criteria; I just do. The greatest blessing of my life is being married to Foxy. I wouldn't trade what I have with her for anything.

That's my weak attempt at a birthday tribute to a woman who deserves a hundred times that. Maybe if you go to her blog and wish her a happy birthday, that'll make up for my shortcoming here.

I love you, J.