Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Genre Identity Confusion

I hate to admit it, but I'm afraid I might be--man, it's painful to even say this out loud, but I have to face the truth. Okay, here goes. I... [deep breath and a paragraph break to gather my courage]

I am...

No.

I think I might have homomusical tendencies.

I've only admitted this recently, though now that I look back I see that it's been going on for a while. See, I've always assumed that I'm normal, that I'm a heteromusical. I am white and I like black music--hip hop, soul, reggae, gospel, even a little jazz here and there. Really, I do. I promise, Lauryn Hill is not just a beard. I was telling the truth when I told you how much I love Michael Franti and Erykah Badu and Damian Marley. I've never even understood how people could be inclined toward music of their own color. It just didn't make sense to me. To be honest, it still kind of grosses me out.

But then there's Alanis. I've had a secret crush on Alanis Morissette for several years now. It doesn't make sense, really. Sure, I've always tolerated white music and I even kind of like a few white artists, like Madonna and U2 and Michael Jackson. But I love Alanis. I put Alanis on even when Foxy J isn't home and I feel no obligation to play non-rap music. I listen to her on my MP3 player and at work. I think of her lyrics when I'm shelf-reading.

It all started innocently enough. I was in high school when "You Oughta Know" came out and they played it everywhere, even on the R&B stations in Hawaii. It was raw and angry and vindictive and passionate in a way that I generally am not but sometimes secretly want to be. Especially when I was in high school. I heard the next few singles as they came out and enjoyed them, but what hooked me was "Uninvited," which hit the radios sometime during my freshman year of college. The pianoline (as opposed to bassline?) in the background is entrancing, as is Alanis's voice. Then about halfway through, the violins and drums and guitars and I-don't-know-what join in and everything gets loud, then quiet again, then louder, and through it all her voice is filled with this raw emotion that I can't get enough of. She sings with this same passion, whether she's singing about falling in love despite herself, bemoaning her failings, or intentionally (or so she claims) misusing the word ironic (isn't it ironic?).

So now I don't know what to do with myself. I still love my Lauryn and my Michael and my Erykah, so obviously I'm heteromusical, but try as I might, I just can't shake myself of this Alanis thing. I know it's wrong, but I can't help it. Am I homomusical? Bimusical?

Please help me--I'm not sure I can survive without an adequate label to define myself.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

So why is it you think you have homosexual tendencies?

Are you religious?

Just wondering

Samantha said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

I SO love the comment from anonymous!!

I might laugh about this the rest of the day... :)

Celia Marie (W.) B. said...

I too love Alanis. My Alanis fixation started my freshman year of high school. She's one of the very few artists I still listen too from that era of my life.

But then again, I'd have to say I'm very homomusical. Though my love of 60's and 70's music would be a chunk of exception to that.

-L- said...

Anon, I've read some great poetry attributed to you in the past, and that comment isn't really your strongest work.

AttemptingthePath said...

You aren't homomusical until you are dancing to Ani Difranco, snubbing off the other lesbians in the sleezy club that Ani seems to be raping another guitar in.

Katria said...

These comments make me happy. So does the post.


You've seen Narnia, right? Did you know Alanis sings Wunderkind in that movie? I adore that song.

Th. said...

.

Who is this "anonymous" person?

And me too. She's on my list of great voices.

JB said...

I also love this post (and the comments section!). And I love Alanis. So, I'm homomusical in two ways 'cause I'm white AND female! Check that out!

My personal Alanis fav. is "Princes Familiar."

Did you know she plays God in Dogma?

Chris said...

Homomusical tendencies?

I saw Wicked last weekend and wept openly.