This book did make me appreciate my husband more. As I was reading the part where he finally tells her he has had affairs with other men, I looked over at [husband's name]. He was sitting there, yelling and screaming at the TV because his football team was losing, and I thought, "Well, at least he's not gay."
Monday, October 17, 2005
Well, At Least He's Not... Oh, Never Mind
Last week I had my students write reviews of books they've read recently. Nine of them wrote about Harry Potter, five wrote about Ender's Game, and three about Children of the Promise. My favorite, though, was a review of Carol Lynn Pearson's Goodbye, I Love You. The student concludes an excellent review with the following:
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Well, at least you don't like football.
Amen to the not liking football thing. Or any sports for that matter.
I probably would have done a review on He's Just Not That Into You, which I recently lent to a gay friend, who for obvious reasons, was just not that into me. I might have stated that I didn't even need the book to help me figure that out.
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Sheez. I'm not gay or a football fan. Does that make me perfect?
Well, at least your mom is not gay. It could lead to some uncomfortable moments. Like your total nonexistence.
I just have two things to say about your last 2 posts -
1. Regarding both posts: Celebrate Diversity! (I'm glad your student found something to appreciate about her husband!)
2. Regarding 'watching Days of Our Lives with my older sisters' - Hah! You know that show was not allowed! Is it too late to ground you and your sisters from watching TV?
Cicada--I'll have to ask your friend what he thought of the book.
Th.--You'll have to ask Lady Steed if that makes you perfect. I suspect it makes you an anomaly and a threat to the very fabric of reality. I mean, c'mon, who ever heard of a straight guy who doesn't like football? Freak.
TB--Hi. Meet my mom. Mom, TB.
Mom--I will duly ground myself for three weeks, as per your request. Sorry, work, I'm grounded.
I mean, c'mon, who ever heard of a straight guy who doesn't like football? Freak.
Yeah, I thought they all at least pretended to like football, so as to appear more straight....
You know, Cice and I were in the bunker one day, and ThatGuy started one of his infamous "Would you rather" polls. This one was "Would you rather have a son who was gay or a son who was a bully and beat people up?" Or something like that. (And no, he did not use subjunctive. And yes, it pains me to admit that I don't either when I'm speaking my native dialect.)
He wasn't directing the poll at us, and so was probably surprised when we whipped around and said "A GAY son. Definitely."
He said "Really?" And we told him, "Yeah. Absolutely." ThatGuy looked verily shocked. I like to hope it's because he's secretly gay and was relieved to know that some people do, in fact, prefer gays to felons and now he can go home. Because otherwise I'd have to think that he's just a jerk.
Hmmm. My little anecdote started out having a point, but I think that got lost halfway through. Sorry. Anyway, count me as another vote against football.
Oh, how embarrassing...
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