Without Guile

Last week we were at the beach with S-Boogie and she had to pee. There was no bathroom at this beach, so we told her to go in the water. She stood at the edge of the water, her toes just barely in the surf, squatted, and peed.

Yesterday we were visiting a friend in Hilo and S-Boogie was playing with a bunch of other kids in the pool in the backyard. S-Boogie grinned at me and declared, "Daddy, I peed in the pool!"

I imagine it is confusing when you have been told for the past year not to pee in your pants to be told all of a sudden that it is okay to pee in your swimsuit when you're at a beach with no bathroom. Even more confusing that peeing in the ocean might be okay, but peeing in a pool with a 12-foot diameter is not so okay. And most confusing of all is that in either case, even if it is okay, it's not something to announce to the world. If something is okay, why would I be discreet about it? What does discreet mean?

S-Boogie's lack of shame about anything is one of her most endearing traits. I wish more people were so honest. I hate to think that as she's exposed more and more to other people who will tell her to be ashamed, to other children who will make fun of her for peeing in the pool (even though they do it too), she'll learn to be dishonest in the polite way that most people are dishonest. We could keep her away from other people's influence, I suppose, but I think removing her from social interaction would be a hundred times more detrimental than beneficial. And I do my fair share of teaching her to be ashamed--if Daddy yells at me when I do something wrong, why should I tell him next time I do something wrong?

So I'll enjoy the guileless S-Boogie while she lasts and trust that I'll like her just as much when she starts hiding the fact that she pees in the water, just like everyone else does.