If you're offended by that title, as all decent folk should be, then you should leave now and come back tomorrow.
All the decent folk gone?
Good.
Your mom's gone.
Today is Mardi Gras, which means that tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. (I began your mom's Lent last night.) For Lent this year, I'm giving up two things: ice cream (I creamed your mom's ice last night) and your mom jokes (your mom's a joke). This means that I will spend the next forty days hungry and without much to say. (I spent the next forty days with your mom last night.)
This also means, in case you have not noticed, that I am obligated to observe today's celebration of debauchery by binging on ice cream and your mom jokes. (Your mom binges on ice cream.) With that in mind, I invite all of you non-decent folk who are still reading to join with me in this sinful orgy of ice cream and your mom jokes by eating a carton of ice cream today and by filling my comments section with tasteless your mom jokes. (Your mom's tasteless.)
By the way, I've decided that it would be rude of me to insist that others change dessert options on my account, so I will not turn down ice cream when you offer it to me in your own home. Just so you know.
Thank you. That is all.
Your mom goes to college.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
16 comments:
And so the day of Your Mom begins.
I began your mom's day. . .
WV: lyqwibao
(I verified your mom's word last night.)
I lyqed your mom's wibao last night.
Um, so yeah. I'm teaching class, and for some reason I'm in the mood to entertain, and a kid, to be funny, asks me if I made my gold watch. So I launch into a "I made everything in this room" tirade. Like "oh, yeah, I made the desks. I welded them myself And this stool? I chopped down the wood and everything. I made my tie... I had to procure the silk from silk worms in China. Looks great doesn't it? Oh, and my clothes? Yeah, I grew, picked and harvested the cotton... I made this overhead projector. I bought the frames for my glasses, but I actually blew the glass and made the perscription myself. I..."
One kid says to another in a side conversation that I overhear "I think my mom's posessed!"
"Oh, actually," I say, "I possesed your mom."
Silence.
Then me, laughing, really, really hard. That's for you Master Fob. That's for you.
Let's just hope I don't get a call about that one.
Hee hee.
Your mom got a call about that one last night.
I'm not giving up your mom jokes or ice cream, but I'm impressed to see that you can. ;)
Your mom gave up your mom jokes and I iced your mom's cream last night.
I gave up your mom last night.
How 'bout "Your mom gave it up to me last night"
I howed your mom's bout.
You are so going to fail. Petra and I will see to that.
And I saw your mom's rock and it failed last night. And I was going to your mom at her rock last night. And I petrified your mom's failure last night.
I failed your mom last night.
Your Mom's booty is bigger than a Spanish Galleon's.
I bootied your mom's Spanish galleon last night.
It's 1:26 a.m., I have missed my opportunity for proper Mardi Gras activities, and I am in a rage!!!!!
Hm. How interesting. It seems like I might have had something to say to that yesterday, but suddenly I'm at a loss.
.
I used this post as a launching point for journals today and yesterday. My students were fascinated by giving up ice cream and your mom jokes. According to them, though, all they will be giving up is deviant sex.
(eyes rolling)
I rolled your mom's eyes last night!
LOL you may have given up your mom jokes but I just gave up biting my fingernails!
Post a Comment