Friday, November 28, 2008

Possible Reasons I Don't Remember Any of the People* I Went to High School With Who Have Recently Found Me On Facebook

1. I was secretly more popular in high school than I thought I was, so everyone knew me even if I didn't know them. And why wouldn't I be, with a face like this?

2. Similar to #1, but not so much popular as recognizable. As in, "Hey! I remember him--he was that white guy I went to school with."

3. A variation on #2: Perhaps one of the other two** white guys I graduated with was more popular than I and people are mistaking me for him.

4. The whole experience was just so traumatic that I've blocked it out.

5. I was so self-absorbed in high school that I failed to recognize there were other people around me***.

6. I am not really me, but rather a clone of me who was given (most of) my memories in order to pass as me while the real me rots in a secret prison somewhere in La Mancha.

7. Alien abduction****.

*And when I say "any of the people" I mean anyone but
you, dear blog reader who happens to be a high school friend who has recently found me on Facebook. Because of course I remember you.

**Literally--I counted.

***Note that this is likely true (of me in high school as well as me in the present) whether or not it explains the failure to remember old acquaintances.

****Note that #6 and #7 are not mutually exclusive.


Th. said...


Nice hair.

Samantha said...

The answers are numbers 6 and 7. But don't worry. I plan to rescue you as soon as my Wonder Woman garb arrives and I grow sufficient chest to hold up the bustier.

P.S. Thanks for the La Mancha hint. I have such difficulty tracking cloned people.

P.P.S. You'll know it's me when I come because I plan to use my word verification word, "approcha", as if it were really part of the Spanish language. Pretend it's our secret password, okay?

DC Harrison said...

That really is a nice pic.

Edgy said...

Hah! My hair was bigger than yours in high school!

I've noticed this with Facebook of late as well. More than anything, I believe it's the nostalgia of high school. Suddenly, just because two people graduated the same year from high school, they were clearly BFFs. Heck, I'm now FB friends with my nemesis now.

Scot said...

Why are you holding your chin?

Scott said...

He's not holding his chin--he's holding the corners of his mouth up. You think that smile is natural?

Mr. Fob said...

Th.: It is, isn't it?

Sam: Real me awaits your heroic (and busty) arrival. Don't forget your Lasso of Truth!

DC: Thanks!

Edgy: Yes, but you and I have been FB friends for a while now and I'm not sure how that applies, since I didn't go to high school with you. Or did I?

Scot: I'm actually covering a big red zit on my chin.

Scott: That may also be true. I think we've established that I'm no expert on remembering the details of my high school life.

TK said...

That's a great pic, but WHERE did it come from? Even though I didn't go to high school with you, as your mother, you'd think I'd remember it! :)

Mr. Fob said...

It's my "official" senior pic for the yearbook. We didn't order pics from the official people that year because it was too expensive. We got JCPenney pics instead, which is where the senior pic you have comes from.