Monday, February 19, 2007

Lenten Votes

Tomorrow is Fat Tuesday. For those of you not up to par on your Catholicism (and I don't claim to be, except in this minor instance wherein I adopt a form of pseudo-Catholicism), that means that I will spend tomorrow indulging in an orgy of something, after which I will give up that same something until Easter. Last year I gave up ice cream (except in instances where it was offered to me by true friends). This year I am considering giving up the following:
  • Chocolate
  • Fat
  • Swearing (though I'm not sure that counts because I've already mostly given up what little I ever did)
  • Yelling at small children
  • Sloth
  • Procrastination
  • Bad posture
  • Bad oral hygiene (i.e. failure to floss regularly)
  • World hunger
  • War
  • Misogyny
  • Misandry
  • Gerontophilism
  • Narcissism
  • Lust
  • Narcissistic lust
  • Gluttony
  • Pride
  • Excessive listmaking
I'm having a hard time deciding which sin(s) to give up, so I need your help. Please vote below. I expect no fewer than 52 comments--surely gerontophilism is as controversial as circumcision.
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17 comments:

  1. Anonymous2/19/2007 4:13 PM

    Since the link to which you attach the word, gerontophilism, implies that you associate that word with a 40 year old man, I would suggest that you give that up - at least until you're old enough to know what 'old age' REALLY is! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Braden2/19/2007 6:27 PM

    Man, I'm a terrible person for snorting at the thought of an orgy of yelling at small children.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Tolkien Boy2/19/2007 7:19 PM

    Some questions before I answer:
    * Chocolate
    The sweet kind or the sexual kind?
    * Fat
    Yours or other people's?
    * Swearing (though I'm not sure that counts because I've already mostly given up what little I ever did)
    What the hell?
    * Yelling at small children
    Yours or other people's?
    * Sloth
    Actually, I read that most sloth meat is poisonous. Are you addicted?
    * Procrastination
    Don't you think it's taken you long enough to come to this resolution?
    * Bad posture
    If you give this one up, does it give me permission to punch you in the stomach every time I see you slouch?
    * Bad oral hygiene (i.e. failure to floss regularly)
    Are you aware that no one flosses except movie stars and the children of dentists?
    * World hunger
    I gave this up in the spring of '89. Does it need to be given up again?
    * War
    In Bush's America?
    * Misogyny
    You are aware, of course, that as long as you interact with women and maintain your Y chromosome, that this is impossible?
    * Misandry
    Don't you know how cute the anders are?
    * Gerontophilism
    How old is old?
    * Narcissism
    You're giving me up?
    * Lust
    See last question?
    * Narcissistic lust
    Okay...that's weird...does this explain your need to wake at unholy hours to lift heavy weights?
    * Gluttony
    A poll taken by Sir Jupiter and myself concludes that this is not something you deal with. Or are you talking metaphorically?
    * Pride
    But not prejudice?
    * Excessive listmaking
    Why not add excessive questioning of the status quo?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Th.2/19/2007 9:16 PM

    .

    I floss.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Kengo Biddles2/20/2007 12:04 AM

    I floss ... sometimes. When I feel guilty, or Helga-the-hygenist (I'm not kidding, that's what she calls herself) visits my dreams. I had an horrific teeth cleaning adventure with her and every once in a while cringingly remember that I'd better do it, or she'll numb my entire face again.

    I vote bad posture. Throw those shoulders back, and give a lenten-goodbye to poor posture!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Erin aka- absent-minded secretary2/20/2007 1:14 AM

    I think you should give up war, because really, what is it good for.

    Just don't give up blogging.

    ReplyDelete
  7. G'pa Bob2/20/2007 3:28 AM

    Yelling at small children.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Katya2/20/2007 9:03 AM

    Give up chocolate. Then I don't have to.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous2/20/2007 9:06 AM

    narcissism

    please

    ReplyDelete
  10. Samantha2/20/2007 11:40 AM

    Okay, I hate to argue with TB--but I'm a tiny bit of a floss fanatic, as are most of my friends. I carry it in my car, coat pockets, every room in the house, and it occupies a place of honor on my bedside table. I also have many trash receptacles in those places to take care of used floss. And I don't particularly care about flossing in public etiquette. Therefore, my vote:
    Please, please, please give up the absence of flossing. And TB--I beg the same of you.

    People who don't floss sort of...gross me out.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Christian2/20/2007 1:40 PM

    I still vote that you give up vegetables. Last year was the most successful Lent I had ever had.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Melyngoch2/20/2007 10:52 PM

    Give up war. Cause man, if you come after Poland again, I'm taking Czech Republic, and France is not getting out of this alive.

    ReplyDelete
  13. TK2/20/2007 11:26 PM

    Only 39 more comments to go. And I got a good laugh out of these 12!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Petra2/21/2007 3:26 AM

    I floss. TB, you've been roundly defeated in your argument.

    Also, I vote you give up yelling at old people and lusting after small children. Oh, wait...did I read that wrong?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Kari2/21/2007 12:17 PM

    Oooo! France not getting out of this alive--I vote for that! Wait. What was the question?

    ReplyDelete
  16. John2/21/2007 2:34 PM

    I have a meme waiting for you to try! :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. -L-2/22/2007 9:38 AM

    Um, I know I'm late here, but I would just like to add that flossing reduces your risk of heart disease. Really.

    ReplyDelete