Relation to me: If you are reading this, or you know someone who is reading this, or you know someone who knows someone who is reading this, you are invited. Sorry, I won't accept any guests above the third degree of separation (Will Smith and Kevin Bacon be damned).
Gender: Male, female, or any combination thereof.
Race: Black, white, yellow, or brown. No purple people. I hate purple people.
Religion: Muslims, Hindus, Christians, Jews, and atheists are welcome. Zoroastrians must first be cleared by me. Agnostics can leave their indecision at the door.
Sexuality: Gay, straight, or bi. Please, no bestiosexuals. That's just gross.
Height: Everyone's welcome, but I do like tall people better than short people.
Weight: I'm not going to touch this one.
Age: 0-99. In past blog parties, we have had S-Boogie and the Big O representing the 0 side of the range, and Edgy Killer Bunny and Th. closer to the 99 side, and have thus far avoided any age-based conflict.
Marital status: Here at the Fobcave we welcome singles, marrieds, and all degrees of sinful livers between the two.
Musical preference: Must be willing to tolerate the music of the Fob household, which includes a variety of artsy hip-hop, folk, soul, reggae, rock, gospel, and Moulin Rouge!
Proximity: Come on, folks, I've had people drive from California and fly from Indiana, just to come to a blog party and show love for Master Fob. What's your excuse?
What about Jains? I'd assume as long as they don't show up naked.
ReplyDeleteWhat if they wanted to come, but they are stuck in the mountains of Morocco? I've never been to a blog party. I suck. Someday I'll come, I promise!!! I'll never let go, Jack!
ReplyDelete"I hate purple people."
ReplyDeleteSome of my best friends are purple--you are so racist...
"I do like tall people better than short people."
I am now as offended as a short person can be. And just so you know, in spite of my slight stature, if you spent just a few moments with me, you would have to acknowledge that I am larger than life!!
"...sinful livers..."
My favorite body part.
Actually, short person comment aside, I kind of wish I could come...
3M--What makes you think I don't want people to show up naked?
ReplyDeleteSkye--Morocco, right. Likely excuse.
Sam--Kind of?
What about green people?
ReplyDelete"They were black, white, yellow, and green,
Black, white, yellow, and green,
The rarest plum puddings you ever have seen,
They were black, white, yellow, and green."
Substitute your adjective of choice for "rarest" and substitute "Fob blog partyers" for "plum puddings" and you've got a great little ditty there.
Man, I love that song.
*kirsa goes off singing "black, white, yellow, and green"...
I do like tall people better than short people . . .
ReplyDeleteFine! I won't fly in from Indiana!
But I like short people, particularly short people of the Melyngoch size.
ReplyDeleteRetribution will be had for the age comment. Just so you know. And that retribution may or may not have something to do with the abundance of empty boxes in my garage that I was going to recycle but then I wasn't going to because a "friend" was in need, but now I just may recycle them again.
Yes, sort of...
ReplyDeleteI don't want to clear my avid Zoroastrianism with you...and I also think (along those same lines) that you should be playing Richard Strauss' "Also Sprach Zarathustra" in the background. This would elevate the Fobbing to a level heretofore unknown.
But I'm not sure I could "measure up" to the other Fobs, as I'm only an honorary, which makes me feel "slight"-ly insecure, and it seems I'm a little "short" on time right now.
Oh, wow!! I really have to stop--this is SO bad...
.
ReplyDeleteYou people have to understand that the purple people comment is not racist, not really. At earlier blog parties, unspeakable violence was committed by purple people eaters, thus necessitating this policy.
I'm so glad to know that my age, even after this last barrier, is still not enough to keep from an invite.
And this reminds me. I have a post on a new *sexual that I'll have to write when I have more time. Meanwhile that leaves me time to determine which I like best: unisexual or monosexual. What do you think?
I'm leaning toward monosexual. Does this imply a polysexual?
ReplyDeleteUm, S-Boogie, Little Dude and I are all rather short. Are we still invited?
ReplyDelete.
ReplyDeleteEdag, Foxy! You're right! The @$$#@%^!!!!
(MrF--Yes, I suppose it does....)
I'll bring potato salad. HA HA HA! Just kidding! I'll bring chocolate Costco cake instead. HA HA HA! Just kidding again! I'm not really going to be there. I'm laughing through my tears.
ReplyDeleteP.S. How old IS Edgy?? I really want him to be older than me, but I don't think he is. Dang it.