Monday, March 27, 2006

Gyn 2006

There is a gaping hole in the English language, and I am here to fill it. Observe the following:

Man/Woman
Guy/
Boy/Girl

Did you see the hole? See, when you want to refer to a male who is older than you, you call him a man. When you refer to a male who is younger than you, you call him a boy. When you refer informally to a male peer, you call him a guy. Females, on the other hand, can only be placed above you (woman) or below you (girl). Yes, there's "gal," which I in fact used as the female equivalent of "guy" in my post yesterday, but that was only because I hadn't yet written this post. The fact is, "gal" is simply a lazy "girl," and therefore not appropriate when referring to an adult. I, personally, would be offended if you called me a gal.

I hereby propose the solution:

Gyn (pronounced "jin")

I invite you to join me in the revolution by using "gyn" in your everyday speech. Whenever you would say "guy" but you're talking about a female, say "gyn." For example:

  • "I met this gyn the other day, and wow, she had the most amazing biceps."
  • "And then these two gyns walked in and the first gyn said to the second, 'Dudette, did you just fart?'"
  • "Hey, you gyns, stop picking your noses and get over here!"

Show your love for equality, the English language, and me by using "gyn" in your next blog post. Thank you.

This Public Service Announcement has been brought to you by the Foundation for a Better Gyn. We are unrelated to the Foundation for Better Gin, the Foundation for Better Jinn, the Foundation for Better Gyms, and the Foundation for Better Gynecology.

19 comments:

  1. >> Gyn (pronounced /jin/)

    um ... the slashes confused me.

    I'm guessing that's not IPA because such a word ('yeen') doesn't sound possible as natural English.

    So it's like 'Jinn' then?

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  2. No, it's not IPA. I started to put /yIn/ (with the short capital I with tails but I'm not that fluent in html), but that would have confused my non-IPA-literate readers, so instead I confused my IPA-literate readers. Sorry. It should say

    >>Gyn (pronounced "jin")

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  3. And now it does, because I'm anal like that.

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  4. Sigh. The IPA version would actually be /JIn/ with the funky looking J with a cross and the capital I with tails. I should stop trying to look smarter than I am.

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  5. In my defense, I learned IPA in Spanish, which doesn't have /I/ and doesn't distinguish between /j/ and /J/ (they're allophones, not phonemes, and they're both spelled with "y" and in many dialects with a "ll").

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  6. (In some parts of Spain "ll" is a different phoneme altogether.)

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  7. If you ever want to feel loved, make a ton of comments on your own blog.

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  8. I think you talk to yourself too much.

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  9. Oh. And while shopping this weekend, I saw the perfect T-shirt for you.

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  10. What about the Foundation for a better Djinn?

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  11. P.S. I actually have to say that this inspires me. I could, infact, call myself a "Gyn," making others believe I am refering to a "djinn" (hopefully not "gin"), and therefore revealing my true not-quite demonic nature that no one seems to think I actually possess. Cool!

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  12. Are you just ripping off my ideas this week? ;) (Seriously, thanks for the shout-out on the last post. Doubled the number of comments I usually get.)

    Oh, and I'm sure your new pronoun will catch on. Grammar by mandate always works out does . . .

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  13. Ha! I thought it was funny when that guy was talking in sacrament meeting just a day after your post, but I had no idea about your Board post until you pointed it out just now. The equivalent of dude, by the way, is dudette. Which makes the equivalent of chick... chico? rooster? dare I say it--cock? I sure would be offended if someone called me a cock.

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  14. See, that's the whole problem with 'werf'. It seems like an ordinary noun like 'guy' and I could make it stick in my head as such ('that werf can totally bring home the bacon and fry it in the pan'), but never as a pronoun.

    [I guess that was kind of your point though, TB. You're much better at being subtle than me.]

    Oh, and I absolutely detest the referencing of females as 'guys', so I guess I must lend my support to 'gyn' until something better appears.

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  15. NO NO NO NO NO. As a labor nurse, the only thing GYN brings to mind is gynecologly. MANY women refer to the gynecologist as the "gyno". The term GYN makes me think of vaginas. Even if it's pronounced jin. I couldn't read it in print with a straight face. I reject this. No offence to Fob. I prefer gal. Or woman. I am proud to think of myself as a woman. It doesn't make me feel old.

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  16. I actually like "gal" just fine. Sure was fun to see you have a conversation with yourself on your own blog, though. Props for that. And for having taken Spanish 326 (I think?). I LOVED that class. Who'd you have? I forget now who I had... :shrug:

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  17. I took 326 from Dr. Williams, the cool British dude married to a Spaniard.

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  18. I know I'm getting here late, but I just want to second SkyJ's comment! In fact, I was shocked that I made it that far in the comments section before anyone commented on the gyn-gyno correlation!

    Sorry. Come up with something else.

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