What if?

Q: What if Tolkien Boy and Melyngoch produced a love child who grew up to conquer the world?

A: Then all the men in the audience would confirm Master Fob's suspicion and become gay.

Q: What if Tolkien Boy got a job dancing in the show at Bally's?

A: Then Fob Reunion 2025 will have to be African-themed.

Q: What if S-Boogie and the Big O get married and live in Madagascar some day?

A: Then maybe TB and Melyngoch shouldn't have a child after all.

Q: What if we're all robot clones of our former selves?

A: Then Melyngoch would, for the second time in history, have nothing left to say.

Q: What if Fob (official and honorary) were to give up your mom jokes forever?

A: Then her baby would die, and that would be tragic.

Q: What if Foxy J's uterus fell out?

A: Then, perhaps, we could be translated like the City of Enoch.

Q: What if Fob became a communal society?

A: Then they would have to reduce his allowance by the same amount.

Q: What if Th. and Lady Steed had a child named Maximillion, but the nurse got confused and named him Maxithousand?

A: Then they might end up on one of those annoying inspirational billboards.

Q: What if the Fobs attempted Everest as sesquecentarians?

A: Then we would know that everyone in this house is among God's chosen people.

Q: What if both California and Utah were struck by an 8.0 earthquake tonight at three am?

A: WHO TOLD YOU???

Q: What if Th. were a spy sent from the planet Thmars to prepare Earth for an invasion?

A: Then writing would give way to school bus zombies.

Q: What if Master Fob became Master Shake?

A: Then he would have to go on a national tour and get beverage companies for sponsors.

Q: What if Foxy J named her child Fobapalooza while Master Fob wasn't watching?

A: Humankind would change forever.

Q: What if... Melyngoch... and a pumpkin... and a trout... met up and... you know?

A: MADD would form a secondary group: MAFOB.

Q: What if FOB was the basis of a Vegas revue?

A: Then we would know where the wrath of God will strike.

Q: What if the Church bought the Las Vegas Strip?

A: Then it would be purpler on the other side.

Q: What if grass were purple?

A: Then the world is not very strong.