I have long suspected that, in fact, everyone is gay. 95% of the world's population, though, stays in the closet because they assume everyone else is straight and don't want to be in the minority. This theory seems more and more likely to me all the time.
On a completely unrelated note, loyal fobs, don't forget to come out to the party on Saturday.
I'm not. Nope, not at all.
ReplyDeleteYup. Straight here, too. Smurfer's suspected the same thing, though.
ReplyDeleteWould you care to share some supporting evidence for why it "seems more and more likely to [you] all the time"?
ReplyDeleteEh, I'm with you on this one, MFob. Or maybe it's just that 95 percent of the people in my world are gay.
ReplyDeleteSvoid--No, I wouldn't. I'll just let you wonder why I wrote that after coming home from your place last night. :)
ReplyDeletePer Dr. Kinsey 100% straight is the MINORITY.
ReplyDeleteKinsey Scale of Sexual Orientation
"The core criticisms of the [Kinsey report] revolve around sample selection and sample bias. In 1948, the same year as the original publication, a committee of the American Statistical Association, including notable statisticians such as John Tukey condemned the sampling procedure. Tukey was perhaps the most vocal critic, saying 'A random selection of three people would have been better than a group of 300 chosen by Mr. Kinsey' [1]. Criticism principally revolved around the perceived over-representation of some groups in the sample: 25% were, or had been, prison inmates, and 5% were male prostitutes. A related criticism, by some of the leading psychologists of the day, notably Abraham Maslow was that he did not consider the bias created by the data representing only those who were willing to participate."
ReplyDelete--Wikipedia
Look, I don't appreciate being outed! ;)
ReplyDeleteHonestly, though it seems like it's a tough thing to be openly gay, so maybe there are a lot more people out there than care to admit it. That doesn't seem unlikely to me.
If your theory’s correct, then all I can say is “God bless all those good people that either faked it, or openly married and had children in spite of their sexual orientation!” Otherwise, all of US might still be up in heaven, waiting for the other 5% to provide the bodies for us! :)
ReplyDelete(God bless them, even if your theory’s not correct!)
Oops! I see I mis-read your statistics. Well I think I still have a point - I think . . .
ReplyDeleteWe'd ALL still be up there, wouldn't we.
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ReplyDeleteI deleted my last comment, cuz I hit publish instead of preview and it needed work... ANYWAY:
ReplyDeleteKinsey wasn't alone and I am stunned at how many "straight" people I thought I knew until it came out that FL is Bi. All of a sudden a bunch of people start outing themselves as having had fantasies, or past experiences or curiosities. It makes more sense everyday to me that there is a huge grey area between 100% gay or straight and that since that area is so vast that the majority of people would fall into it...
Meh. If you subdivide it sufficiently, no one will be 100%; everyone's had a contrary impulse at some point in his or her life. Eventually, though, you choose one spouse of one gender, and decide to be 100% attracted to them, casting away what might have been.
ReplyDeleteand decide to be 100% attracted to them, casting away what might have been.
ReplyDeleteDECIDE to be attracted to them? LMBO!! As if you get to decide that!
I have personally seen the damage that "casting away what might have been" can do to one's soul. It's heart wrenching. You can make the decision to be monogamous with someone, but you can't pretend you're not attracted to other people (gender be damned), can't cast away the feelings- it's painful and hard and against one's nature to pretend you have feelings.
Hey, Master Fob! Did you think your post would get so much action? LOL!
It would be really nice if there was a way to edit these things....
ReplyDeleteThat last line was supposed to say: pretend you DON'T have feelings
"DECIDE to be attracted to them? LMBO!! As if you get to decide that!"
ReplyDeleteIt was you, if I recall correctly, who pointed out that almost everyone has a little straight or a little gay in him or her.
Mandi, I think you're right--in most ways, we can't decide whom we're attracted to. But we can decide whether to dwell on our thoughts of attraction and with whom we are going to act on our attraction.
ReplyDeleteAt some point, we have to commit to something. We can't be, do, or have everything. Any decision we make is a decision not to do something else--a casting off of some other "might have been." We have to find a balance between our desires and our commitments to others. If we continually dwell on the might-have-beens or the what-ifs, it makes it much harder to progress toward whatever our ultimate goals are.
I'm not trying to trivialize anyone's situation, and I'm not saying it's easy. However, I agree with what a friend pointed out to me--that no one is really attracted to just *one* person. But most people decide to commit to only one person, which means agreeing to deny themselves of acting on attraction to someone different. Not of *having* the attraction, but of dwelling and acting on it.
Wow. No, I didn't anticipate this post stirring up so much controversy. (On the other hand, I was hoping to get a discussion going on Oat Clusters with Bacon, but, alas, apparently that one has provoked such a passionate response from people that they don't know how to put it into words.) I meant this post to be facetious, but I was also expressing a similar sentiment to what Mandi and FL have said--the more open I am about my sexual orientation, the more I meet other people who don't identify with the supposedly predominant orientation.
ReplyDeleteAs for what orientation means, I'm inclined to say that it's much more fluid than the labels we give it would have us believe. Surely everyone has the capability to be attracted to either gender, to some degree. (What comes naturally to us is another story.) Speaking as someone who has made a big deal about labeling myself "gay," I fear that such labels have the potential to limit our perception of reality. By calling myself gay do I limit my capacity to be attracted to women--in particular, my wife? Similarly, and I hope Freelancer won't mind me psychoanalyzing him on my blog, does calling oneself bisexual--not just acknowledging one's ability to be attracted to both sexes, but actually giving oneself the label--artificially limit one's ability to focus that attraction on one person? (Just to be clear, FL and Mandi, I sincerely mean that as a question, not an accusation or call to repentance; as I've pointed out, if labeling is a sin I'm equally guilty of it.)
As for choosing whom one is attracted to and/or choosing what attractions to put one's energy into, I seem to be caught somewhere between Mandi's and Brozy's POV. I agree with Mandi--and I know this from experience--that refusing to acknowledge my orientation is not healthy. At the same time, though, I agree with Brozy's statement (and Anonymous recently made a similarly-themed comment on the "G-Word" post) that each decision to do something is a decision not to do something else, and our energy is best spent on the thing we have chosen. I'd write a post on this, but I already did, and between the 18 comments there and the 18 here I still haven't come to a conclusion. Thanks for your thoughts, though, everyone.
Hmmm. My friend Heather's theory is "gay until proven straight." My roommie, BAWB said (quoting Mandi), "'DECIDE to be attracted to them? LMBO!! As if you get to decide that!'
ReplyDelete"It was you, if I recall correctly, who pointed out that almost everyone has a little straight or a little gay in him or her."
What the heck are you talkin' about there, BAWB? You asserting that bisexuality proves a person's choice in the matter? I don't follow.
'Brozy, I'm totally with you on your last comment here. I love it.
Master Fob, you said "don't forget to come out to the party." (emphasis added). I thought you said this was on an unrelated note....
And finally, I also believe that 100% of the world is depressed. But then I remember that I'm not. But I think if I look at just roommates I've had before now, we're looking at five gay to nineteen not-openly-gay roommates. And that's really just the ones I know about. I really do suspect almost everybody, and even the ones I don't suspect often turn around and surprise me.
Great party last night, I'm so glad I attended, especially to find other people like Ozomatli too!
ReplyDeleteIt was a great party. :) I had a blast (and stayed much longer than I had planned/expected to, because it was just that fun).
ReplyDeleteYou're right, Smurfer; what I said was dumb. I meant something more along the lines of what 'Brozy said: clearly we can't stop people from catching our eye, but we can choose to only dwell on him or her to whom we're committed. Sorry.
ReplyDelete